Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
