super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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