If i could tip my vagina, i would.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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