totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
PANTIES FOUND
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