Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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