I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
