I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
