yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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