3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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