god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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