you win again, gameday.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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