don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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