Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
