already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
