VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
