The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
