You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
