He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
