so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
