i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
