You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
