dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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