no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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