You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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