just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
