uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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