This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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