I'm so fucking centered right now
if i died would you start the facebook group?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
