Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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