You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
