I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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