just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
