it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
third nipple confirmed
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
