ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
