I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
