To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
