I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
