He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
