Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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