Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
