Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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