I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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