omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
