she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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