Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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