I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize