Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize