she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
