The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he shaved USA in his pubs
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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