Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He felt like a one man threesome
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
