You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
