That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
