would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
