first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
