mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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