After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
