She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
