For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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