i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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