So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
