idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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