Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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