Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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